And then I decided to try another airline and the results were worse
goddamnit Kage you’ve been to Disneyland six times since September, why did you have to go again today
I have to shade the thing I worked on for perspective last week and I’m so scared it’s not even funny.
like, I just watched two videos on it by my teacher and I was like “dude this is so awesome” and now that it’s time to actually work on my piece I’m like “OH GOD NO HELP ME HOW DOES THIS EVEN WORK”
Lighting, man. Just…lighting.
things i am scared of doing:
- ordering food in a restaurant
- walking down a busy high street on my own
- talking to people on the phone
- eating in front of people
- asking for help in a shop
- meeting new people
- being in a big crowd of people with a lot of people i don’t know
the future looks bright for me
I can deal with ordering food, and I can eat in front of anyone save for my mom and brother…everything else, though? Ugh…
Well, I’m at the point with this assignment where I think I’m pretty much done fucking with it. It’s not great, but it’s better than just not turning it in. I’ve done what I could. I’ll hang onto it until about 10 or so, since the deadline is at midnight. If I can think of anything else to throw in, I will. If not, well…I did the best I could.
After I’ve turned this in, I’ll officially be done worrying about finals and I can finally relax some.
At least I’ve gotten A’s and B’s on every other assignment in that class, so even if I don’t do great on this final, it won’t totally ruin my grade…I hope.
If I had any money I would buy her orchids, because my mom loves orchids. But I have no money so maybe I will draw her orchids instead and say nice things?
What am I doing with my life why is this making me so anxious
DAMNIT DAD why did you have to go and make me feel obligated to do this
Goddamnit I am seriously going to cry if this shitty thing won’t print. This is due today. I could turn it in late tomorrow, but I don’t WANT to do that and have it damage my grade.
Godfuckingdamnit. Why do I have the shittiest printer in the world.
Okay, I sucked it up and sent Kai a message on FB. Message is as follows:
“Okay, I’m WAY more nervous about asking you for help than I should be. You’re one of my best friends, goddamnit :| I was wondering if maybe you and Rae could help me out with my photography final.
They’re having us choose from a list of Greek and Roman goddesses, and we’re supposed to take a picture that tells part of the deity’s story. Props and costumes included. I’ve decided that I want to go with Eris, goddess of strife and discord because I have a golden apple that I can use as a prop for the Apple of Discord.
The only thing is coming up with a model and a costume. And, well…that’s where I need the most help. i feel super-awkward asking Rae if she’d be willing to model because I haven’t known her nearly as long as you, but at the same time I don’t really know who else to turn to. I can’t hire a professional model, you know? >__>;; And I don’t even know where to start with trying to put a costume together.
I’m sorry that I’m rambling, I’m just, I’m nervous since this is my final and I really need to get to work on it, and I’m really hoping you guys can help me out. If not, I understand.”
I mean, she doesn’t really have any reason to say no. I MEAN. okay, I’m not saying that she HAS to help me, but I’ve never done any wrong by her and we’ve been really close friends for a good while.
I’m just nervous because this is my final and it’s…well, I have to rely on other people to help me. If it was a solo thing, I could do it easily. But it’s not, so I can’t. I hate having to rely on other people. Kai and Rae would never let me down if they agreed, I just, ugh.
Why am I such a horrible anxious mess all the time.
Maybe my nerves are just fried from the semester.
Photography final is to…fuck it, let me copy/paste, I suck at explaining shit.
“Choose a mythological figure (examples are listed below) and using Photoshop and photos you take using a model, put together a composite image that tells your figure’s story. Think of this as an illustration, but you’re using photographs instead of drawings. Next module, you will be working with a model in costume, so start seeing which of your friends will volunteer to model and start planning how you will light your model now. This is the first step in the planning stage: the rough.
For Part 2 (next module’s assignment), you will use a model in costume to represent your chosen mythological figure and their story. You will use these photos of rough poses to explain to your model what you want them to do when you photograph them next module. You should start planning the finished image now so you know what kind of background and costume you’re going to use. This will help you decide how your model needs to pose, how s/he must be lit, and how to frame the shot. Though these are photos of rough poses, they should be clear enough so we can understand what you’re planning.”
So we’ve got a list of Greek and Roman gods and goddesses, right. I’m probably going with Eris, because I actually do have a golden apple to use as a prop. Who knew that old thing would come in handy? Gotta thank Luu for that.
But the problem is going to be finding a model and slapping together a costume. Who in the fuck am I going to get to agree to this. *Buries face in hands* Oh god, I don’t even know who to ask. And it’s not like I’m going to actually hire a model, either, because fuck that. I don’t have money. And, truth be told, it’s kind of making me panic. I mean, there’s no real reason to panic, but I just, I’m really weird and anxious a lot of the time.
What to do, what to do…
I mean, I have an idea of who to talk to about this, I’m just too fucking anxious to ask her to help me out. GODDAMNIT, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.
